Hello everyone, it's me again, typing throught the fingers of my able secretary, Wendywoo.
It's a very close run thing as to who's stories and comments are the funniest up to now, we think Vinny has it by a nose, but Nat gets extra points for starting it off! Vinny has the advantage on 'risque', as he has retired.
I am trying to build up my reserves of strength for tomorrow (Thurs)night. I will try to see and speak to as many of you as possible, but please don't be offended if I can't spend too much time. Sue RF has offered me the use of her spare room (werhey) if I need to lie down for a bit during the evening for a rest. I am aiming to be there at about 8.30pm.
Thanks for all your continued support, and love, it really does mean alot to Wendy and I.
Mark, Wendy, Matt and Gracie xxx
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Dear Mark and Wendy,
ReplyDeleteI feel very insulted as I have NOT retired, I just look like I should've done years ago!!
See you tomorrow.
Vinny
Hi Mark. we wish so much we could be there tonight as it will be a right good do, no doubt. The comments on here have had me feeling happy, sad ,nauseous(CDC smells)and nostalgic. nothing like Cop humour. Lee and Vinny can get a job in Mannings after they retire doing stand-up (on a chair in Jonesy's case. ha ha)make it a good one tonight and we will have you in our thoughts. I am instructing Ann Malone to give you a big sloppy kiss from me. love, Berni and Steve. xxx
ReplyDeleteMorning Mark/Wendy
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you were strong enough to take some pleasure from your weekend at the lodges, isn’t it a fantastic location.
I know what you mean about Sunday though, I was a bit south west of you in Cartmel visiting my folks, solid rain the whole day, what the locals call 100% humidity.
Reading these posts from your friends is great, its amazing what people remember. My memory is not quite as defined as some, 21 years in the D O has probably addled my brain. The detail Nats remembers is a bit scary.
It’s been a slow process but here are a few more of mine:
Tudor Jones and his cape under which he could conceal any manner of contraband!
Helping Chris Williams lift a personnel carrier out of a ditch by Rippon Barracks. He had carelessly parked it there at 0400hrs whilst driving back into town to search for the wallet that he had unfortunately misplaced in a wood yard whilst entertaining one of the local ladies.
Nick Young’s complete sense of humour loss re the above circumstances.
A mutual friend’s fast and efficient method for persuading unlicensed hot dog vendors to cease trading, which involved their wares and the nearest drain!
Chorlton Street bus station for breakfasts
Napoleon’s – That place was an eye opener to a naïve 21 year old.
Bernie Dowd the training Sgt and his passion for quizzes.
The old parade room
Manni playing the theme tune to Hill Street Blues before we turned out for nights
ID parades in the old snooker room
Losing more money to you than I ever won
DC John (I’ve forgot my wallet) Murray. I worked my first murder with John for a partner, he had been telling me what a whiskey aficionado he was and how his favourite tipple of choice was Laphroaig . One evening I found myself at his home and being fond of malts myself was delighted to accept the offer of a wee dram of this particular Islay Wine. I have no idea what he poured out of the Laphroaig bottle, probably Clan Dew or some thing, but it was not what I had been expecting. He got most affronted and questioned my Sassenach parentage when I pointed out that I had clocked his cheap deception.
Got to go for now, see you later.
Gaz
Hi Mark
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to seeing you again tonight.
Speaking with Tony Delaney yesterday unfortunately he can’t make it tonight as he’s at a wedding but he sends his regards.
Just a few memories from our younger days that are worth recalling, I will endeavour to protect the innocent wherever possible!!
Wrightington Hospital Halloween Night, funny how one night can lead to a change in career.
Our first night in Ibiza, for some reason we upset the civil guard, Geoff Scott having a pint while we where confined to barracks. How much!
The Bar Bar Boat
SAS style raid on the southern Jessie’s balcony during the night.
The tsunami on Benidorm beach, with wifta Wills losing all his belongings. What a holiday.
The Duck Arse apartents – not quite “all Inclusive”
My stag do at the belfry, are we welcome back?
Falling a sleep at watching Latics at Wembley and waking up with footprints all over you.
Later that evening, it was very generous of the Empire night club to offer us free entry into the club.
Being chased out of Bowness by the local constabulary, never knew you could run that fast. BTW My clothes are still at the bottom of the lake.
At a certain BBQ not that long ago, certain people had far far too many lemonades then decided to go on the bouncy castle. Sorry about your nose pal, it was accidental, honestly.
Good times.
See you later and best wishes
Tim, Bernie and Edward
Hi Mark,
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry that I won't make it to the do tonight owing to issues I won't bore you with. However, around 8.30pm I am going to crack open a beer in the kitchen, crank up the ipod nice and loud and dance "The Footsie" to Wigan's Chosen Few, (yes I remember it the first time around). I hope all of you have a lovely evening - I know yo will. Love to you all, Nat xx
P.S. If Swilks refers to me as an old bugger one more time I shall be knocking several layers of his perma-tan off next time I see him!
Hi Mark and Wendy,
ReplyDeleteA few more memories of Bootle Street to be going on with;
To appreciate the following story you have to be au fait with the Kojak TV series of the 1980's.
CID office at Christmas time, Neil Witcher wearing a Kojak skinhead wig,sucking a lollipop and walking unto a totally stunned DCI Cockers office, slapping him on the cheek several times whilst uttering the immortal Kojak line, " HEYYYYYYY, COCKERRRRRR!! "
Picture the scene;
The old writing room situated at the bottom of the stairs next to the present day charge office, with that obnoxious git Supt Eric Gill's office directly above at the top of the stairs and about seven PC's all sat down writing and the phone rings;
Anon PC " WAR OFFICE DO YOU WANT A FIGHT?.....WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHO AM I, YOU RANG ME, WHO ARE YOU ( everybody looks up )....SUPT GILL?....DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO THIS IS? ..... NO?.....WELL **** OFF THEN! "
Seven PC's then proceed to fall over each other to get out of the door leading into the charge office as they hear a door slam above them and the sound of footsteps running down the stairs!!
A certain serving high ranking officer, still in his probation, being put on the van with Steve 'Harry the bastard' Ainsworth in an attempt by supervision to curb Harry's alcohol intake. They get a call to a disturbance at the Stanley Midland Casino involving several Chinese male. On arrival the probationer jumps out and gets stuck in downstairs, fully expecting harry to be right behind.....wrong!
After a tussle with a couple of Chinese males, a lock up, and then having to drag the said male upstairs and sling him into the van, the said probationer sits in the van wondering where Harry had got to. He didn't have long to wait as a glimpse in the wing mirror revealed harry coming out of the side door of The Midland Hotel with a bottle of wine and 2 glasses on a tray!!
An afternoon shift and Neil Hales driving a van with Gerry Finnegan along Whitworth Street towards Oxford Street when they see Sgt Jstine Curran stood on the corner looking directly at them. They stare straight ahead, never flinching and carry on over the junction and disappear into the distance along Whitworth Street West, leaving Justine Curran stood there wondering, " Have I really just seen 2 of my officers wearing rather large sombreros?"
hey Beau, Remember your time as the football intelligence office. Matches usually played on a Saturday and 1 + 7 would be warned to work on time and a half. Then within 8 days of the fixture you would march into the C/Insp office and say " Hey Boss, my mate from Arsenal has just rang me. They`ve up`d the anti... Bringing a right F*%king mob down. We`re going to need more troops" Keeerching!! Another serial on at double time..... Oh and when no trouble occurred it was obviously due to the policing tactics employed by the `A` division.
ReplyDeleteKeep your chin up fella X
W.O.W. what a fantastic night at the Howfener.
ReplyDeleteLots of old faces, lots of old story`s.... and lots of old people!!! Hey not really. Great to see colleagues past and present. Brian Speakeeezee still scares me, but seems more tamed in is mature years, god bless you Speaky.
Well what a turn out for you Beau, but it has to be said it was only to be expected. We parked our car up and one of the local kids came up and said "can I mind your car for a fiver mister". When I looked closer it was Lee Jones!!!! Further up the road was the old street thefts unit `ob-ing` the increase of parked cars in the area....screwdriver in hand!!!
AAhhhh brought a tear to my eye.
Thanks to Beau Wendy and the kids for a memorable evening. XXX
Hi Mark, Wendy,
ReplyDeleteJust got in from what I can only describe as a fantastic night, the turn out was incredible. Saw people who retired 14/15 yrs ago. Just goes to show Beau, the impression you have made over the years and the effect you have had on people, you're one hell of a guy and one hell of a friend. All I can say, on an alcoholic note, which I know you'll appreciate, do an impression of a pint of cider, that's right, be STRONGBEAU!!
Back soon with some more Bootle Streetisms!
Vinny
Morning Familia Bridges,just a few lines to acknowledge your strength and resolve not only in organising last nights shindig but in being able to be there yourselves and conduct yourselves with such dignity in what must have been a difficult night for you all. Respect!
ReplyDeleteMatty and Gracie are a credit to your family.
Cracking night..some real blasts from the past...I felt a bit like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz..set off from Glossop in the car..but somewhere en route we got sucked into a vortex..banged my head...and woke up in a time warp circa late 80s!!..good to chat to so many old/ageing faces..when I got the chance that was..spent most of night giving Alan Robertson a running commentary on who was who..! (suppose on Wizard of Oz theme he was last nights scarecrow!)
I have waited nearly 20 years for John Ennis to say something remotely funny..and he has actually come quite close to doing so in the above post!!
Some BSPS isms:
Newly recruited C relief member (now DCI...jesus)who even back then was not short of self importance..Got a Terry Harrop bollockin in the charge office..the officer retorted with an extremely ill advised response that started with the words " you cant speak to me like that...."
oh dear...how we dived for cover!!!
Same officer (remember the now rank) sent to a spoof job with a PW (who was in on it as were the reast of the relief)of a body found in bushes on Rachel Street. He turns up unaware a large % of the relief are observing from a nearby building.He is despatched to the end of the pitch black street where the PW knows the offending item has been strategically placed whilst the PW makes for the opposite end of the street.T o give him an ounce of credit..the officer locates the body in bushes..by coincidence about the same moment he soils his trousers. However..instead of raising the alarm and turning out the cavalry..he kicks the manikin further into the bushes and runs off sweating and panicking to join the PW at the furtherst point away from his find before shouting up NO TRACE!!!!!
Even in the face of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary he maintained he had not been frightened by the experience and that he had not even seen the manikin which he had kicked into the bushes! WHATEVER!
The late Dave Mansell asking a female shoplifting suspect "whats all that on your neck"...in finest Gortonese the response came "Luv bites..and youre only jealous"...
"jealous?..jealous?" said Dave..." I ve got them all over my ...." (the dots might represent the number of letters in the missing word!)
Paul Hardiman shaving Phil Seeleys head in the same style as his own on an E releif Edinburgh trip. Then leaving Seeley worst for wear in a fast food joint doorway who later awoke in said doorway surrounded by loose change kindly donated by the citizens of the city..who assumed he was hungry and homeless!!
Seeley again..just passed his adv driving..takes out a traffic car..buzzes a Dutch HGV at high speed on the Mancy Way leaving the Dutch driver unamused. Seeley subsequently overturns the car a few hundred later on the old Mancy Way roundabout at Ardwick...Dutch HGV trundles up seconds later and salutes Seeleys driving with several blasts onhis airhorn as he passes on by!!
Priceless!!
Mark, I'm sorry that I couldn'r make it the other night. Suffice it to say that I'm lost for words for once in my life. All I'll say is KEEP FIGHTING and NEVER GIVE UP.
ReplyDeleteI know it's been said a few times on the blog but working the REAL "A" div from 1982 to 1996 was a treat, especially with a Police Dog in tow. There were plenty of great bobbies and bosses around during that time. We got away with more that's for sure!
I remember when it kicked off at the bottom of Piccadilly Approach and I'm not sure if it was you or Chizzy that almost ended up as Elan's dinner. It was close but funny!!
I know it's not too "PC" to talk of a certain fallen Glam Rock star these days but we both had a grand day out at G-Mex with the swine back in 1990 courtesy of Brief. Do you remember? Access all area passes and dinner. Watching the concert from the mixing desk with his then manager Jeff Hanlon, as much merchandise as we could carry and meeting "The Leader".
Still got the photo of us with him. Both with our Glitter "Jesus the audience have turned up again" shocked expressions.
Do you remember when the Australian Kangaroo RL team stayed at the Radisson on Blackfriars Street and I blagged us some gear off Bob Lindner?
Remember going, with Bob Murray, to watch them train at the Y club and then realising after watching Meninga and Blocker Roche lifting stupid weights over their heads again and again that Great Britain were always on a loser!!
Our love for all things Gerry Anderson and TV trivia in general provided many a light moment at the CDC during Strangeways.
Just in case you were wondering, the STINGRAY acronym. PWOR, is Proceeding With Orders Received. ;-)
Just to put the record straight, there were TWO of us that knew the BIG RAT acronym!!
Mark, GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
Roy