Right, I had better get this right, I have had my instructions! Firstly, I thought I'd add a photo of the Tyldesley Boys Bridgade for good measure, and a bit of added interest.Mark's feeling a lot chirpier today, and significantly lighter. He's still not eating properly - can you believe it? However he's drinking and when I left tonight, said he was starving, so that's a good sign.
We're hoping that if he is as well tomorrow, that he may be able to come home in the evening, and we can go to the log cabin in the Lake District on Friday as planned. (fingers crossed)
Now then, back to my instructions...BSPSisms....
Neil Hales - the body drawn on the floor in core 5, 'say no more'.
John Sinclaire -prisoners sandwiches for 'Bobby the budgie'.
STINGRAY -Mark tells me it wasn't Stingray, but BIG RAT.....the question that no body else knew the answer to was, 'What was the machine called that gave Joe 90 his powers? (who's Joe 90? some of you are asking). The answer was, 'BIG RAT', and only Mark could possibly know what BIG RAT was an acronym for...wait for it....BRAIN IMPULSE GALVANASCOPE RECORD AND TRANSFER. Why would anyone know that?
Ex officer with initials 'JW' peeing against the counter of the takeaway, whilst grinning and ordering a chicken fried rice???
Same officer placing appendage in ones pint...
A certain (now) high ranking officer ordering the ramming of the doors with a Sherpa van at the Mark Addy....you know who you are M'am.
The Press Club
The Conti Club
The Jolly Angler - card schools
John Bull
Moonrakers
The Millionaire Club (Cloakroom)
The Plaza Cafe - half hot, hot, suicide, armageddon, goodbye.
The original Topkapi Palace
...and finally....personalised glassed at 'Boddies Brewery'
Some of you will be reading this wondering what on earth it's all about...it's the memoires of someone who was here when things were very much more interesting.
Mark has found all of this very amusing, and had a big smile on his face whilst we were going through some of your reminiscences, and his own, lets keep the big smile going.
Wendy, Marl, Matt and Gracie xxx
Keeping the big smile going:
ReplyDeleteAs you know, there's nothing quite like the bobby's sense of humour. Whoever said sarcasm is the lowest form of wit is sadly mistaken. At Bootle Street, every TOD was peppered with brilliant one-liners. Equality prevailed in that everyone had the p*** taken out of them.
For me, some of the funniest things were said by cops when they were being deadly serious - not trying to be a wag. Here are just a few:
"I can count on the fingers of one hand how many days off sick I've had.... six" (Martin Arnfield).
"I am a failed anorexic" (Peter Marsh)
John Coupe, booking into custody one of Manchester's finest : Prisoner: "Hey you look just like that man off On The Buses".
Coupie: "And you look just like someone who's not getting bail, neeeeeeeeh".
I first met Sgt Coupe when I was brand new, helping out Dilip Das in Plain Clothes on "Vice". We had informed custody we were bringing 2 of our ladies in. So there I was escorting Ms Tierney and Ms Piggott to the counter when Coupie piped up "Bloody 'ell Dilip, I thought you were only bringing 2 in!"
And finally.... I think this is just the right side of printable and one of my favourites, Pete Marsh again, on the phone to a victim who had had her handbag dragged off her arm:
"Hello? Mrs (Smith)? DC Marsh here, I'm just ringing about your snatch"
Hope they make you laugh as much as they do me.
xxx Natalie Ratcliffe
Mark,
ReplyDeletedue to being away I sadly cant make the 27th. I hope it still goes ahead for you and judging by the illustrious names attached to this blog it will be a most memorable and fantastic night.
Nat - how could that be me? AS I'm sure you will recall I was much more handsome than the one in the picture#*~! Adding to your excellent examples, hope these also stir up some fond memories for you Mark:
Cafe Yaquub - chicken curry and naan
Austin Montego
Ravels !!
Hour fixed point at Halle Square
Birkatex brides
Game of nomination at refs in Core 5
Louies - 'homemade'meat pie chips beans and gravy!!
(not directly connected to why the chalkmark body was on the floor, but I recall at that time, a morning after the night before, where JW had kipped in core 5 overnight. Being first in in the morning, found JW fast asleep in a chair. The door had been left wide open, and similar to the chippy episode, he had left his mark on the wall outside!! on waking him up, I found out that the YD had been in during the night to look in the locker of AC due to a little matter they were dealing with. They were perturbed to come across this scene which still had the infamous body chalk marks still displayed on the floor. I don't think that JW expressed himself too well when rudely woken up by them. Not best good!!
Other BSPS thoughts:
Beats 1-12
Burndept radios
4th section
Jock at Newton St
Papas
Hacienda
Top Cat club
The Gallery
Rotters
Bier Keller
Georges Taverna
All night bus service
FooFoos 'carry out'
Custody 'reception' committee
Alarmed Capri on Watson St
Sherpa Vans
Mr Williams - police complainer
A few nearer to home:
Broom Way
White Horse
The Hart Common
Theakstons
Quiz night (Always impressed with your remarkable knowledge. Can't remember the question but never forget one of your answers 'scarab beetle'.
Hope these help illuminate more good thoughts of happier times.
Hope to see you soon.
Eddy B.
Beau
ReplyDeleteA few other from BS. Having started my career at Little Hulton and then onto Bermuda I wasn't used to anything happening after midnight until on my return to GMP in 1986 somebody said A Div for you lad.
My first set of shifts, nights, faced me with Mike Malloy and his cough front desk i got for 7 nights.
Couldn't believe how many people were still up fighting and drunk at 3am onwards and they all wanted to come to the front desk to complain.
Bob Swann and his hatred for the burger vans. Think the offence was no street traders licence. The bloody yard stunk at weekends with the fat/grease the burgers were cooked in and the chefs who served them up were even filthier. What worried me was half the police officers admitted to eating that rubbish after a few pints.
Louis van in Piccadilly was a bit more up market.
The old charge office was down a slope through swing doors. It was like the wild west and as violent. Used to dread the CID in particular one DS first name called Dave surname escapes me who used to have a little chat with one's prisoners.
It was awfully hard trying to explain to the custody Sgt why the prisoner looked nothing like the one you'd brought in 10 mins earlier after the little chat.
Keep smiling mate and enjoy your weekend. You never know Bolton might win!
Mike G
Beau, Clunk here, me old mate. I know it's late but I've found out how to log onto your site. Going upto the lakes again tomorrow for a week. when i get back i'll share a few stories through my eyes when we had a cracking time "Street thefts" with such people as Sooty and reckless Reynolds. Ripppingpong CLUNk
ReplyDeleteMark
ReplyDeleteMark Brown here, you Casino monkey!
It's been a swine to get on this blog, but managed eventually.
It only seems like yesterday since you and I were at Bruche torture camp, fresh-faced and a bloody lot slimmer! Much to the merriment of your TAG chums, I'm going to remind you of your wondrous talent for dance. Not that you resembled Stavros Flatley in any way, but you did cut a memorable sight when floating about the dance floor to Northern Soul music on those disco nights at Bruche!
Hope you're feeling a little better and it would be great to speak soon.
Mark B
Morning all!
ReplyDeleteFirstly, my sincere apologies go to Mr Birch, (as in Eddy, not that little fella in the CTU). I wrongly id'd you on the photo as it was the only person I didn't know.
Right, even more BSPSisms:
The Bent 'H'
Gaberdine coats
Artesian wells down on 13 beat
Debbie Bevans - the "Gate Doris"
Being forced to be "Gate Doris" when above named went sick.
Arthur Willis moonlighting as a bus driver
John Murray hiding beer money in his tie
808s
Slush Fund (separate exes account)
X03 Central Licensing (happy days as a hush puppie)
Dry Cleaning Tokens
Say "NO" to Sheehy
Hyatt handcuffs
Operation SATON Force at Catterick
Getting kicked of Yankee 8 to stand by a broken window at 1am.
Yo-Yo (why was he called that?)
Phil Seeley downing a pint in about 3 seconds...then spewing the whole thing back 3 seconds later.
"Angry Of Manchester" writing to complain about the 'pretty-boy policemen' acting as decoys in the public toilets. (Phasey/Arnfield).
Love and best wishes... there's still more to follow... Nat Rat xxx
Beau, Bob Tonge here, took me ages to work out how to get onto this site. Technology and me are not a good combination.
ReplyDeleteThought I would share a couple of BSPS memories with you. My 1st day there, 4/6/84 I met the odd couple at the charge office, John Gillam and Eric Hayes. Remember the Harness we used to get for our Burndept radios ? In my naivity on day 1 I asked for a Holster. Eric quickly said "At last, we've got someone who will shoot the Bast***s".
DS Dave McDonough, the professional gambler winning a few hundred at York races and losing the lot at cards on the coach home. Wonder if that contributed to him collapsing at the service station ?
To see is to believe. You had to be there to appreciate this sight. John Sharkey as a trainee donning a suede coat 2 sizes too big for him with a fur collar in the CID office and impersonating Jack Reegan from The Sweeney.
Diane and I will be there on the 27th.
You take care pal.
Bob T
Hi Mark
ReplyDeleteOne cannot escape from BSPS - I've had a good time reading about some of the exploits of officers over the years ... some of them I knew about, and some of them its as well I didn't know about!!
Its strange that even after being retired for over 9 years now I still find myself smiling when I think of the "A" - I can honestly say that I had more laughs there than any other posting - mindyou every time I escaped for a while the powers that be kept sending me back for another stint.
The comment above which caught my eye in particular was about the officer who drove the van into the Martk Addy - its OK for all you guys but I'm related to her! - imagine how that feels!
Anyway I hope things go well for you - I will be thinking of you and the good old days, and of course I get all the news from other relations in the force!
Best Wishes from a very wet Wales
John Cantrell
Here it goes,
ReplyDeleteA Relief circa 1980's early on!!
Snooker comps on nights,
The Steve Burgess, right lad lets go for a bite to eat.... for 4 hours !!
Over time every Frday and Saturday evening on 3/11 shift, Sunday rest day OT. and those 13 hour nights on the Sundays.
Ye Olde English Chippy Parker Street
Chorlton Street Coach station for cheese and Toast.
The releif ,
Neville Hughes, Norman Law
Steve Burgess(Does you good lad/ Suzie Barker)Graham Glover,
Pete Rawcliffe,Sober but most times p****d
Billy Bagnall,Space in invader , was it called The Defender?
Charge office clerks
Percy Bleakley,
Dave Woodward
AMO1 Ian Hamblet Graham Lawton
AMO3 Phil Gage Neil Whitcher,
Cans of Breaker in the roof ling of the van , Where you cracked your head as you got in!!.
North Car (AM11) Gill Whitcher
South Car (AM12) Carmel O'Farrell.
The crew
Chris Williams
Stevie Mann
Dave Bentley
Ian 'Jacko', Jackson
'Tommy' Stemler,
Tony Brady
George Radcliffe
TCK... (That C*** Kilner)
Stickey Bunn.... Ian Jakeman, was he really a referee??
Paul McCuffog
Neil Robinson
Adrian, 'Gorton Vice' Ladkin
Mark Greenslade,
Keith Coxon,Dog Handler, we all rekon his dog actually drove as he didn't do anything!!
Heads going now , need help form anyone!!
Dirty Mary in the canteen,who lost he finger nail in a GMP bargain breakfast !!
CellaVie 2 , George's for post work drinkies.
Was this work or just a great fun time or what.
Keep up the fight
Stu P.
Beau
ReplyDeleteAnother John Murray classic
He got wind that there was a prisoner escort to Dundee. John being Scottish and tight informed me and Russ Barnett to pop over to Stretford on the way to Glasgow where we were staying the night as he had something for us.
That turned out to be a 24" TV that he wanted delivered to a relative. The relative duly met us at the Glasgow hotel where we handed over the said item at a cost of nowt to John.
The only man besides Paul Birch you could tip upside down and still not find a single coin of the realm.
Keep smiling mate
Mike G
Mark,I got details of your blog from Pete Giles' email, so I have taken a big IT step and managed to even get as far as this! Impressive, eh? I might even try using a solar powered calculator after getting this far. The other advantage is the memories that are flooding back after reading the above contributions. I remember being on foot patrol one evening when you came sliding out from under a parked car on Little Lever Street. You were wearing plain clothes and a daft smile, as usual, but apart from a "hiya Lol" and a few ha ha ha's and he he he's I never really got a full explanation as to why you were lying under a car on Little Lever Street...I must add that you were completely sober at the time, so Mad George and Co can't be blamed for that, and you were on duty, as you had to retrieve your radio from under the car. Perhaps you just had a fetsh for oil puddles. I wan't on A Relief, but worked with a few of your mates as people got moved from shift to shift after attachments. Russ Barnett - got shot with an air pistol! On another night he wanted to turn-out for a few pints after 3-11 so rang his missus to say he was working overtime. He put the phone down and said something along the lines of 'fooled her'; unfortunately for him the phone was defective and the connection hadn't been cut -- she heard him! His life was a misery for a while. Neil Robinson, I worked the van with him for ages, it was a laugh every TOD. Mad as a March Hair. Pete Rawcliffe -- me and Terry Iddon and others had to separate him and Neil Howcroft in the bar at Bootle Street - those two just didn't get on for reasons which now escape me. Steve Burgess -- great bloke, does you good. Billy Bagnall - on the miners strike we got so naffed off with his pipe smoke in the bus we kidnapped it and held it to ransom. He went up to 50 fags a day. Norman Law was Insp on the same trip and we peruaded Tudor Jones, who was Captain of the Welsh Boring Team, that Norman was interested in caravans, so Tudor bored the arse off him for the whole week and Norman was just too pleasant to tell him to sod off. Paul McCuffog's riot helmet was so tight he looked like a hamster with mumps. Percy Bleakley!! I did my CID attachment with him. For some reason we went to London to pick up a prisoner (any excuse for a day out). The bloke was going to go down for some time so we let him have a couple of beers, which got out of hand and when we got back to Piccadilly all three of us were pissed! I could go on -- there are so many names up there which bring back incredible memories. Strange environment, BSPS, but I wouldn't have missed it. See you Thursday hopefully, and bring your trademark grin!
ReplyDeleteLol Foster
Lol...you reminded that after Billy Bagnall's pipe got kidnapped...Tudor Jones' pipe was targetted next,but Tudor was clever and kept it within his grasp.Until a nimble fingered officer removed it from his tunic pocket,whilst Tudor had nodded off parked up in the 'mushroom farm' of S.Yorks.The pipe was then duly filled with GMP's mounted finest horse tobacco...the premise being if the pipe stinks of horse-sh*t,it may as well be horse-sh*t in it....Needless to say when Tudor woke,he immediately grabbed for his pipe,and a smile across his face knowing his pipe had not been nabbed.Straight into the mouth,with his petrol lighter firing up the pipe-bowl.He must have taken 3 or 4 minutes to try and get it lit...A whole new twist to smoking some bad sh*t..Thanks Beau for the BIGRAT update,but you do know the Stingray WASP acronym too...Mike D.
ReplyDelete